I was sorting through my photo library when I stopped on this one of Joe and I in Palm Springs just before moving to London. It was one of our last So Cal hurrahs and I remember feeling so happy and at peace that weekend. From then on it was going to be just him and I and as difficult as it was to think of the things and people I was leaving behind, I knew that being anywhere with him was going to be home.
Now that we’re settled into our new and second home, Joe and I can start thinking about where and how we want to get married. There hasn’t been much time to think about details since he popped the question in February but the good thing is that there really won’t be any details to think about. Why? Because we’re keeping it simple.
In a world where the average wedding costs $27,000 and takes tons of energy and time to plan, we’re going to opt for something more our style. I’m still amazed that there’s anything to opt for since up until February I was convinced that we would never get married, at least in the technical sense. In every other sense of the word, we already were (and are). We share a home, share finances, share the same values, goals, hopes, and dreams, and most important we have a life-long commitment to each other. Getting married was something we spoke of should we one day want to do something symbolic or need to for legal purposes, it was never a goal for our relationship, a dealmaker or breaker. All we wanted was to be together and that’s precisely what we were doing. In my mind I had officially said “I do” when I agreed to move to London with him.
I’m sharing this because in the blog world my way of thinking is not the norm and I want to offer a different perspective. I may be committing blog suicide by writing this but hey, it’s my blog and it’s my day! Like how I threw that classic Bridezilla in there? Yeah, those words will never actually come out of my mouth because it is just one day. We”ll still be the same people, we’ll still feel the same way, and life will go on as usual.
The interesting thing is that I do drool over beautifully made wedding dresses and I do find inspiration in creative reception stylings. But, for some reason when it comes to me, to us, I just can’t get into it…not like I used to. Before meeting Joe I fantasized about my dream wedding – the dress, the cake, the fireworks – yes, literal light up the sky fireworks. As little girls we’re practically bred to want BIG on our wedding day, anything less is not worthy of our princess status. Well, I got a little older and realized that I had been dreaming about the wrong thing. Instead of dreaming about a healthy and loving relationship and a lifelong partner, I was planning an elaborate prom night with a faceless groom. My priority was on looking like a Hollywood starlet and partying like a rock star. Nothing wrong with either of those things (I like both very much) but once I met the guy, the right life partner for me, all of a sudden the BIG one day event, and all of the expenses and energy that go along with creating it, didn’t seem all that important to me.
As soon as we got engaged I knew that I was going to have to be quick in setting the expectations from my friends and family. I felt like I was expected to come out screaming “I’M GETTING MARRIED!”, have a glow about me, and frantically start scouting locations and picking out linens. Remember that episode of Sex And The City when Miranda finds out that she’s having a boy and everyone expects her to be all like “OMG I’m having a boy, YAY!” but she’s actually really chill about the whole thing? That’s how I felt. After the initial shock and dose of euphoria I felt totally normal and calm, I actually coded my blog that night (yep, very sexy). Nothing was different other than the fact that I had a gorgeous diamond ring on my finger. The man I love was still by my side as always, the man who made a grand gesture by giving me something pretty and symbolic of our time together – past, present, and future. I can’t wait to say our vows and add that experience this chapter of our lives, however and wherever we choose to do it. And while it will be a very special day, the date that really counts in my book is the day that we met. That is what changed our lives, everything after that is just part of our story.